I spent a good deal of the afternoon at the mall yesterday. I was in need of some serious shopping therapy which translated into buying a can of mouse, a PSP movie, lunch at Sbarro (gotta have it if I’m at the mall), and about half a dozen cookies.
In the process I had to drive north half an hour and back and it really is a good thing that I was having a patient, subdued day. I realized that I truly hate other people on the road, it’s not a dislike but an intense hatred. There are a few simply inhuman acts that I have noticed, and I’m sure I’ll end up updating this blog with more. Read this list carefully because most people don’t realize they’re doing these things but they do them none the less and it KILLS me.
People who speed up when someone is entering the highway from the onramp into your lane so they have to get behind you or get back off the highway. THE LANE YOU ARE DRIVING IN IS FOR PEOPLE ENTERING THE HIGHWAY, ASSHOLE.
People who ride the person in front of them in the fast lane when it’s 5pm and in the middle of traffic. What, are you going to throw physics out the window and force the traffic to go faster? All by riding someone’s ass so hard you should have bought them dinner first?
People who use their useless over polluting monster trucks for intimidation on the highway. YEAH. I get it. You’ve got a tiny freakin dick and you have no soul. That won’t make me go any faster when there’s a train of cars in front of me. The funniest part is it’s always some old redneck or a “Texas Wife” with huge hair and long nails that YOU KNOW the only thing hey have a need for hauling in a truck like that is their enormous egos.
People who drive 65 in the fast lane because it’s more “comfortable”. In case you didn’t realize, some people do have places to be and you are preventing them from getting there. See, most people don’t realize that there is a methodology to the road, the right lane is the slow lane used for old people and trucks. The middle lane is the moderate lane, mostly used by people that are running on time or don’t have anywhere important to be right this minute. Now THIS lane should be used to drive at a comfortable speed. The left lane, in case anyone seriously doesn’t know is the PASSING LANE. It’s supposed to be used by people that have the need or capacity to go faster than the other cars.
People that drive under 60 in ANY lane when there’s nobody in front of them. If you can’t handle driving the horribly dangerous and fast 60mph then stay to city roads, you shouldn’t be using the highway anyway.
Today I’m taking public transport so I don’t even have to THINK about driving.
COMMENT ME! with your on the road pet peeves.