It’s 7:41 am. Daylight savings time has got my mind in a twist. I have this thing where sometimes I’m totally not responsible for my actions when I wake up, like this morning -I just woke up at the laundromat. I’ve got Tegan and Sara in my ears, laundry in the washer, and i’m sitting by the old Frogger game. So I ask myself – Why the hell are you doing laundry before you’ve even watched Roseanne?? Harvey AKA personality #2. I woke up confused because of the whole daylight scavings thing so apparently I went back to bed and […]
Hummels in the Hood I know you’ve all seen them – the Hummel on your Granny’s night stand, the dozen or so Precious Moments statues in your spinster aunt’s breakfast nook, cutsie little porcelain figurines of cutsie little children. Adlof Hitler even said of M.I. Hummel: “there is no place in the ranks of German artists for the likes of her. No, the ‘beloved Fatherland’ cannot remain calm when Germany’s youth are portrayed as brainless sissies.” Yeah, he hated the cute little statues of children being children. Now, the artist Barnaby Barford has taken a whole new spin on little […]
Drug Dealer Sexy. When did this new fad of “occupational rap” pop up? I mean drugs and violence have always been a part of rap but here lately you can hear a reference to selling drugs in nearly any hip hop or rap song that comes on the radio.No, I’m not being an old lady. I indeed understand the “edginess” that talking about being a crack dealer gives a rap song, and I understand how hardcore it must make a person seem when they do. I just don’t understand the effectiveness if it’s in EVERY song. It is still hardcore […]
DUNDERFUNNY OF THE DAY Will I Live to see 80? Here’s something to think about. I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (I just turned 49.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’ He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’ ‘Oh no,’ I replied… ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’ Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs? ‘I said, ‘Not much… my former […]
Some of them want to use you…
I got this in my emails today. I think it says a lot about life. the grass is greener… Sometimes you can reach too far! And when you find yourself over-extended and you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing you should always remember……. Not everyone who shows up…… Is there to help you!!!!
Someone please take away this girl’s crack pipe.
OMG. Courtney Love just posted a new blog, apparently after hitting her crack pipe REAL BIG. It’s titled “Curt’s Dead”. Yes, ya slutty ho, we know that the biggest rock icon of our time is, in fact dead.I used to really like courtney love, I thought she was a lot of fun. But really, the girl needs to stop smoking crack then posting blogs. I don’t think a lot of people realize the draw the internet has, I’ve made it a point now (even though a few I did were BRILLIANT) NEVER to drunk blog. If I’m not in my […]
Bored with Maswell dagani
Years ago I made friends with Mack Gloves, a con artist supposedly in the UK. He wanted to prepay for 10 massage visits in some ridiculous amount of like $5g’s. We bantered back and forth, I played stupid if for no other reason than to amuse myself. He actually sent a money order from a bank that didn’t exist. I think I ended up turning it over to the police, but now I’ve gotten bored again, and my new friend is Mr Maswell Dagi.READ MORE!!!He Started our banter with this: DEAR FRIEND,I AM MR. MASWELL DAGANI , A BANKER IN […]
Dear god I miss this woman.
When I was young, there was a huge stink in my tiny town of Roswell, NM over the book “Daddy’s Roommate”, which told the story of a child whose parents were divorced and the father now lived with his gay lover “roommate”. From what my southern Baptist mother said about the book my little head was filled with pictures of the devil sodomizing a child’s father as he watched, cities crumbling under the strong arm of the homosexual, and general debauchery and non-biblical behavior. I was “into” the Bible at that time. Then, as I got older and figured out […]
Tell That Biatch to BE COOL
THIS BITCH WENT CRAZY. Personally I have never missed a plane. I’ve come very close before, on a southwest flight one time I ran through the velvet rope just as they were closing it. Another time I was drunk as piss eating my Pizza at the wrong gate. But both times I made it. Now I understand there is a lot of fun stuff to do and buy in airports, many of them are like malls now so it’s easy to get caught up shopping, but how the HELL are you going to get so distracted shopping that you miss […]
Madonna stole Britney’s Soul
Yesterday, while out and about, the new Madonna and Justin Timberlake song was brought to my attention. In big bold letters on the top of the youtube page “4 Minites By Madonna feat Justin Timberlake and Timbaland” let me know that yes, Madonna has finally hopped on the Timbaland train. As I listened to the song with the expected generic Timbaland sound that he makes all the rappers and rising hip-hoplets drop it like it’s hot and pop lock and drop it to like trained monkeys on a stage I couldn’t help but think about Britney Spears. I think Madonna […]