Go Trek Yourself

Its sunday. First week of August amidst one of the hottest, slowest summers I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been a giant ball of fat all weekend, not accomplishing anything productive besides about an hour’s work and a few margaritas. I looked at my empty appointment book, then looked to my laptop… www.NETFLIX.com… and try to find something to occupy my time.

And its not like I have absolutely nothing to do. My house is a wreck. Both my dogs stink. I have writing to do. But its going to be 106° today and the cold hearted snake in me just wants to turn into a puddle of goo in front of the TV and watch something mindless on Netflix. I scrolled through the new releases and under the TV section I saw it: Star Trek Voyager the complete MOTHER TRUCKING SERIES! At that point I knew my day was over.

I jumped right into Season 5 which started out with the crew of the Voyager crossing some vast expanse without any stars or aliens. The crew is bored because there’s nothing to do, everybody’s getting on each other’s nerves, and all I can think about is “why the hell are these people still wearing their uniforms? Heck, why are they still wearing clothes???”

They’re not going anywhere ANYTIME soon, they can’t even talk to the rest of Starfleet, I think if I were captain I would have said “Srew it, I’m putting on shorts. Oh and we can drink real booze now also.” They’re so freakin smug too, flying around the galaxy like “Oh look at us, we don’t have to but we’re still being good and following the rules” well EFF THAT. If I got tossed to the other side of the galaxy I’d be burning my uniform quicker than the wormhole gets you to the Gamma Quadrant.

I guess that arises the question of authority, are you in Starfleet because you want to be or because you have to be? I’m not a very “Rulesy” type of person, the whole uniform thing gets on my nerves much less in space. I think if I were some kind of space traveler I’d be like Barbarella. I’d fly around the galaxy in some plush fluffy starship shaped like a penis and listen to groovy music naked as a jay bird with the gravity turned OFF.

It would be amazing. I can only imagine what zero gravity body shot parties would be like, I’d have flying foam parties every weekend in the cargo bay. I mean come the eff on, you’re in SPACE. Rules are so “Earthling”. I say as soon as we break out of the atmosphere all rules go out the door. Its like international waters, anything goes!