And I Thought MY Teachers Were On Crack…

I know that we all called some of our teachers crackheads, but this guy really takes the cake. William Horseman, a teacher somewhere ‘over the pond’ fessed up to smoking crack for several months. He said his reasons were problems at home, stress, yadda yadda yadda… but the kicker is, they let him keep his job! While hooked on crack he fell asleep during lessons, field trips, amongst other behaviors unbecoming of someone molding the leaders, or crackheads, of tomorrow. But of course, he said he was sorry and learned his lesson, so the powers that be said “Ok, we’ll […]

Tell That Biatch to BE COOL

THIS BITCH WENT CRAZY. Personally I have never missed a plane. I’ve come very close before, on a southwest flight one time I ran through the velvet rope just as they were closing it. Another time I was drunk as piss eating my Pizza at the wrong gate. But both times I made it. Now I understand there is a lot of fun stuff to do and buy in airports, many of them are like malls now so it’s easy to get caught up shopping, but how the HELL are you going to get so distracted shopping that you miss […]

Drunk Monks Recycle

A group of monks in northeast Thailand don’t just like to drink – they like to get creative when they drink. Wat Pa Maha Chedi Kaew AKA The Temple of Many bottles is comprised completely of glass bottles with concrete reinforcement. Not only is it made out of old beer bottles, the materials used for the first building were collected by the monks themselves – an apparently they like Heineken. After that the authorities began donating bottles which lead to the construction of their 20 building compound. I can see why this would be one of the new leading tourist […]

Desperate and Lonely

DAILY, on my many escapades through the internets, I get a lot of messages. Maybe about 1% of those are from decent guys that I would possibly consider hanging out with in person, and the other 99% I can safely say, in all of my humility, I am WAAAY out of their league. I have this issue where I have to respond to messages I receive, if for no other reason to just be friendly. The problem is the internet consists of desperately lonely people, and bored assholes that thrive on rejecting people because they’re insecure. I am not desperately […]

Make the bad memories go away!!!

Apparently a drug has been created to erase bad memories. That’s right folks, forget AIDS, forget cancer, there is now a cure to “unsee” something. Finally you can take a pill and *poof*, no more 2girls1cup, 2guys1horse, or that foul woman having explosive diarrhea in the hot tub. Beta blockers, usually given to heart disease patients, are now believed to have memory erasing properties. Basically the tests conducted have shown that the test subjects taking beta blockers are less skiddish when startled. What I gathered from the article is during the tests they’re shown creepy videos of spiders then given […]

That’s just tacky.

Dear Diary, When a tacky straight man throws a girl a bad pick up line and gets shot down, he grabs his crotch and grunts with his buddies. When a tacky gay man throws another guy a bad pick up line and gets shot down, he flips out and takes every rejection he’s ever gotten in his life out on you then runs away and cries. NO JOKE, earlier a guy sends me a message which said: “Are you really 6’8″? OMG excuse me real quick while I go blow a load all over myself real quick…. ok I’m back.” […]

The Gambler.

As I am by no means any kind of relationship expert, I am a gambler. And a smoker and a drunk, but that’s beside the point. In the past year of being single I’ve lightly treaded the waters of the dating world like an alien to new terrain, rarely even taking off my breathing apparatus to inhale the native air. Now that I’m old, cold, and jaded, I’ve really noticed all the games that one really has to play in the dating world, and recently I’ve noticed it’s a lot like poker. My favorite poker game is Texas Holdem! During […]

Why Queers Hate Queens.

First off, this is sort of a response blog to my friend Chris who wrote a piece called “Why do Queers Hate Queens?”. I was really compelled by it because it raised a lot of issues that I’ve noticed myself. What does it mean to be gay? Many people, especially gays, feel like if you aren’t wearing your sexuality on your sleeve and completely living your life solely to be a gay man you’re self-hating and trying to act straight. So what if you’re just not that queeny, and like to date like-minded guys? Most queers hate queens because they’re […]

Crack of the Pistol

It’s nearly a month into the new year and I’m feeling like I’m at that point before a foot race when you’re getting pumped up; when you’re stretching and breathing and waiting for the ref to give the order to line up with the other runners. That twinge of adrenaline is starting to pump and we’re all waiting for the ref to shoot his little pistol in the air. When I was a kid we had field day every year. I never won anything… I mean really I had to have been one of the most fairily faggoty fluffiest queen […]