Has anyone else noticed that people are never satisfied with their current methods of fixing their broken self esteem? Now, in 2009, the hottest trend in spas around the country is anal bleaching. That’s right, bleaching your asshole. It’s a process in which the pigment around your sphincter is lightened to get that clean, flawless, porn star look. You know, so your ass doesn’t end up looking like a Chow tongue. Apparently the chemical in the product used to bleach your brown beauty is called hydroquinone and is the same stuff they use in hair bleaching… and the rubber industry […]
The Male Hormonal Cycle
Every month around the same time I get that “not so fresh” feeling. Well not in the place most people usually get it, it’s like I feel it in my soul. It’s like clockwork, it’s always been that way. I’m irritable. I’m depressed. It’s the only time I can ever cry. It’s my manrag. Every man has them, straight, gay, paper machete… every man I have ever known has had the same problem weather they want to admit it or not. It’s a rough time, and I think it’s a lot rougher on men than women. Sure women bleed, bloat, […]
Gaza
I don’t read newspapers. I rarely watch the news. I didn’t pay attention in geography, like AT ALL. The only way I ever find out anything new is google, youtube, and good ol word of mouth. So lately I’ve been hearing a lot about the Gaza Strip, and I know many of you reading this will call me a complete idiot for not taking more of an interest in world events, well to those people I say “read my last blog, I don’t have a bank account either.”. So I thought I would do a little research to explain a […]
NSF…
As the people who love me most already know, technically I don’t exist. The only real proof of my existence is I have a drivers license, massage license, and the typical birth certificate and social security number, but besides that I have NO paper trail. After recent experiences, many of the people who once chastised me for not having things like a bank account, car payment, a dozen credit cards (I don’t even have a blockbuster card), and pretty much any form of credit are beginning to fallow my lead.
I didn’t cry at the end of Old Yeller either.
I’ve been waiting a few days after I saw the movie “Marley and Me” to review it for dingy little DUNDERBRAIN! Hoping that a couple days of marination would change my opinion but it didn’t. This movie was like a donkey punch, plain and simple.
THE DUNDERTEN!08
10. I LOVE SARAH PALIN!!!!!1 Sarah Palin really won me over with the Turkey Incident, and I had to write a blog about it. I had really sworn off writing about her, you know, to avoid becoming a one-trick pony but after this happened I HAD to write about it. I really can’t get tired of this video! 9. Its drunk and I’m 2:30 By the title you could probably guess that I wrote this blog at 2:30am and I was at least a few sheets to the wind. I had drank all night at the local lesbian bar, taken […]
When pitbulls try to stand upright and put on lipstick without thumbs…
“Thank you, sir. It is an honor to be named your ‘‘Conservative of the Year.’” Said Sarah Palin as she chiseled down the rough edges on her hooves as HUMAN EVENTS Political Editor John Gizzi sat down to interview her in the third corner of Hell she now lives in.
The Parental Transfiguration.
At some point, in all of our lives, weather we like it or not the inevitable happens: We turn into our parents. Weather it be in appearance, attitude, thought process, political views, the way we put on our depends, no matter the method it always happens.
10 Goals for 2009
So undeniably 2008 SUCKED ASS. I don’t know many people who have enjoyed watching Bush make a total ass out of himself during his final year, the economy falling to shit, or you choice of all the other bullshit that happened this year. Even though I was entertained I could have totally done without ever knowing there was a woman named Sarah Palin or a woman named John McCain for that matter. When it comes down to it they are both pure evil and there was a slight chance they could have been running our country in a few weeks.
Why most white trash should be sterilized…
In the small community of Holland Township two bizarre, strange people, Heath and Deborah Campbell, decided to reproduce. Even though this EXACTLY demonstrates why some people should be sterilized, that isn’t my point. My point is these two sick fuckers are child abusers even if they never touched their kids in the pants or otherwise laid a hand on them.