Lately I’ve found that dating is a lot like being a hiring manager in corporate America. You see HUNDREDS of applications a day but you end up picking out a handful to actually interview based on a variety of different standards that you apply to each one individually instead of the group as a whole. You may have one candidate that is better at typing and another that’s better at organization but you want to interview both to see which would be the better overall employee.
I think if I were to put it in words, the job description would be:
Candidate must be easy going, emotionally in touch yet composed, and have intelligence. Job responsibilities include emotional availability, basic fidelity, making coffee, and answering calls and TXT messages instead when received instead of ignoring them. Candidate must love dogs as well. Preferred between 25-35 with an equivalent maturity but a streak of juvenile delinquent as well. Position to be filled in 4-6 weeks or however long it takes to become comfortable enough to put a label on the actual position. (the corporate office doesn’t allow moonlighting, sorry. Moonlighting is punishable by termination and possible domestic arson)
I’ve been accepting a lot of applications lately, but the actual interview process has been pretty agonizing. Most candidates don’t seem to know the first thing about what it takes to be a part of the DUNDERBRAIN camp, the first husband has pretty big shoes to fill. It’s gotta be a good fit otherwise the tabloids will be all over us, its a pretty high profile position after all.
There are a lot of factors I take into consideration when hiring, the candidate doesn’t have to match 100% in every category. In fact I’ve hired people to fill the position before that were totally unqualified or inexperienced, and some that didn’t match the job description in any way, shape or form but considering the position is now open you can see how well that’s worked out for me. I absolutely HATE firing people and I hate it even more when they quit.
Seems like a perfectly reasonable person specification!
According to the criteria, I’m unable to fill your slot – but should I come across anybody suitable, I’ll send them your way. I’m pretty sure that you can trust my judgement.
huh huh you said “fill your slot” huh huh
LOL! Brilliant! If you don’t start writing professionally already and get all rich & famous I am going to have to hurt you. A+, very well written. I like the random thought of has to be able to make coffee lol. You are such greatness giant. 🙂