So the other day when I was at the Laundromat as I usually am several times a week a little girl came toddling up to me. Kids that I don’t know make me nervous because really people don’t know how to discipline their children. I mean what would happen if she came up and snatched my phone and threw it across the room? It’s not out of the realm of possibilities, people don’t teach their children boundries or personal space anymore. Anyway, they make me nervous.
Personal issues, religion, and politics.
A couple weeks ago I posted a blog about how offensive I thought saturday night live was. But you’re an offensive fool, Justin! some might say, and that’s totally true. I joke about race. I like to talk about white trash a lot. Dead baby jokes are HIGH-larious. And potty humor, don’t get me started with potty humor! Really it comes down to the quality of the offensive material in question. Just because Stephen King writes some truly scarey stuff doesn’t mean he enjoys watching poorly made horror movies. Just because Wanda Sikes is funny doesn’t mean she enjoys watching […]
Gaza
I don’t read newspapers. I rarely watch the news. I didn’t pay attention in geography, like AT ALL. The only way I ever find out anything new is google, youtube, and good ol word of mouth. So lately I’ve been hearing a lot about the Gaza Strip, and I know many of you reading this will call me a complete idiot for not taking more of an interest in world events, well to those people I say “read my last blog, I don’t have a bank account either.”. So I thought I would do a little research to explain a […]
NSF…
As the people who love me most already know, technically I don’t exist. The only real proof of my existence is I have a drivers license, massage license, and the typical birth certificate and social security number, but besides that I have NO paper trail. After recent experiences, many of the people who once chastised me for not having things like a bank account, car payment, a dozen credit cards (I don’t even have a blockbuster card), and pretty much any form of credit are beginning to fallow my lead.
Wash your wounds with Aquafina
A few weeks ago I went to see Cloverfield, but of course that’s not what this is about. I was really distracted from the oversized anime-esque monster by the overly blatant product placement. It was EVERYWHERE. When they cleaned their wounds in the subway, the water was provided by a conveniently placed AQUAFINA machine with an even more conveniently placed crowbar right next to it. When they’re on the street getting torn to pieces by the monster, the Sephora store was perfectly pristine. Sure, product placement is inevitable. It pays for the stuff we see on the screen now as […]
Barack.
As some of you know I had a highly fundamental Christian upbringing. My mom would tote me around from new church to new church so I got a pretty wide grasp on the subject before deciding for myself that it’s all a bunch of bollocks. Anyway, the one aspect of Christianity that I was fascinated with was the end times… the Book of Revelations… The End. It just sounds all heeby jeeby just saying it, Book of Revelations… As many more of you know I am absolutely OBSESSED with the end of the world. Apocalypse. I get […]